Men at the Gym.....commentary bout power dynamics in space

           I've been now going to the gym for about 2 months, about 5-6 times a week. Currently, I do weights every other day, although that is a new development. It took me about a good month to even consider venturing past the ellipticals and touching the weight machines. It took me another whole week to actually read each machine's instructions and learn how to do them right. Now I am all set to continue this routine until my foot shows zero signs of pain for about 2 weeks, then I will be running again on my cardio days. 

           What I really wanted to write about was the men at the gym. Please know two very important things before I embark on this more silly, than serious piece, one, that all of what I am sharing are simply opinions based primarily on body language and facial expressions I have observed in men I don't know. You see, I hardly talk to men at the gym and most of the time I am even wearing earphones and listening to some hard stuff like AC/DC or Beasty Boys so as to pump myself up for the workout, but I am very aware of some undercurrent of power dynamics happening hidden in plain sight. Second, and this one is very important fact to remember; I am in no means interested in these men romantically. For me it's  more of a sociological commentary in men behavior and more specifically, power dynamics between men and women. As a woman who has gone to an all-girls' high school, then attended an all women's college and now teaches at an elementary school that is 99.9% women, I find men behavior very different than women behavior and nowhere is that more pronounced than at the gym. 

          The first few days of my exploration into the weight area I know I was clearly sending out signals of total confusion. Perhaps it was in my less-than-confident posture, or my quizzical expression as I stood by each machine and read its full set of instructions. Whatever it was that I communicated, the men in particular were very comfortable, confident. Some were talking to each other loudly, some were openly grunting as they lifted, some just walked tall. As I began to gain confidence in the machines and was able to quickly adjust them as needed to fit my needs I became more at ease, and no doubt this showed through in my posture and my facial expressions. As soon as this newfound confidence set in something else happened. The men in my immediate space (and not all by the way, some) became less loud, and more reserved. Of course, this could all very easily be in my imagination. Yet, it was not a change I was expecting to happen. I did not merely script all these behavior pattens in my head. I slowly came to realize that the more confidence I gained the power dynamics began to change. Of course all these changes are on the mega-subtle level, so subtle in fact that the undercurrent of communications are almost undetectable if you are not paying attention. 

           Just as in the old "which-came-first-chicken-egg?" we'll never know what spurred on what first. What I do know is that I am super proud of myself for claiming this gym space as my own. Like in running outdoors. The mere fact of running the same streets over and over again makes them feel less foreign, less 'other' and in this case the same principles apply....but the mere fact of coming in and using and working in the space daily makes it more familiar, more safe, more smooth.