You are going nowhere without your mental game

                        I have been doing lots of research lately about what it takes to run and complete a 50 mile race. One consistent message I keep getting is that you should be running/walking at least 6/8 hours on your long run days for at least 2-3 long runs before the race. 
                        I am visiting my mom for the holiday and her husband, Marcelo, works in construction. On a -4 degree day he came home after work and reported that he'd worked outdoors the entire day and for the whole time he was performing some heavy duty labor. Immediately my mind goes to endurance. This 50+ year old man just came home from a 7-8 hour physically demanding workday and although he looked exhausted one can ask how is this different from a 5-6 hour training run? There is no difference. Equally, a few months back we hired four tree cutters to cut down a tree in our back yard and within 6 hours they had not only cut the tree down but they left no trace of it in and around our property. They did this with very little use of machines. Each worker drug out giant pieces of tree out to a truck on their backs. 

                         So not only do these two examples above illustrate that human endurance is something more prevalent in our community and that we all have come close contact with endurance in some form in our lives and not necessarily related to sports. Yet, what makes this fact even more fascinating is the mental aspect involved in endurance. Here are a few things I have learned so far about the mental aspects involved with endurance. 

* Your thoughts, and your thoughts alone, decide what is difficult and what is doable. Which explains why some days a 3-mile run can seem super tough and on another day it's seen as a breeze. 

* The minute you sign up for a race you are planting a seed in your own brain that this is possible. The very act of signing up for any race and planning other logistics around it, such as flight, hotel, etc... is an act of self-convincing. 

* Your body will meet your mind. Dream big baby! Of course you have to put in the work to train for any given endurance event, whether it's your job or a race. Yet, your body is absolutely able to grow to the dream your dream for it. Nothing is impossible. 
           
                          


                          

Latino Tree cutters and endurance

                             This week, we employed 4 men to cut down two three-story trees from my backyard. I was not surprised when the crew arrived and they were all Latino, like me. They worked all day long, from 8:30am until 4pm and at the end of that one day, like a miracle, both mammoth trees were gone from our home, G.O.N.E, not a single trace left of them, not a branch, not a leaf. This was all in one day's work for these men and I could not even begin to imagine what their bodies probably felt like the next morning. I don't even think the effort of running an ultra would compare to the amount of work they did in that day. It absolutely blew my mind and humbled me into a million pieces to see these men working with such intensity. This was no ordinary "tough day" at the office, it was an enormous physical feat like nothing I've ever witnessed. I was so moved while watching them that for the past few days now I keep picturing the four of them carrying those large, heavy logs up a wet and slippery hill (my back yard) and loading them onto a truck in my driveway. One of them used the bare strength of his arms and legs, and the minimal help of a belt strap, to climb all the way up to the summit of each tree, oh, and while carrying an electric saw at the same time, I should add. Another worker was barely 18 years of age and only a few inches taller than my middle school son. At the end of the day they all looked like they had walked through a hurricane, they were completely covered in sawdust from head to toe and their faces were dirty with sweat and backyard debris. 

                             Afterwards, as my husband and I stood in my front yard, chatting with them in Spanish and thanking them for their labor, I felt an enormous sense of pride pour over me. These are my people. I come from a long line of people just like these four men. These are people that are not afraid of hard work, willing to do the work that's required of them to feed their families. We know fairly well that the type of work we do does not define us, but that the quality of effort and the type of work we produce does define us. I too come from this line of people who have fearlessly faced impossible obstacles to move themselves and their family forward. I know this first hand from having worked hard myself all my life. I have never been afraid of work, being financially independent and being able to provide for my needs and those of my family have always been first thing on the agenda. 

                        Before college, for example, I refused to go to school that fall without money. That summer I did all sorts of jobs, from house cleaning, to retail, gardening, babysitting. I worked like a dog, with a good attitude and a smile on my face; I did beautiful work. I saved up thousands that summer before college began and went to college with money in my pocket. 

              My mom has also been an amazing example of endurance. She has worked hard all her life, working as a housekeeper for over 30 years. I know it's not as physically demanding as tree cutting, but not an easy job either. In fact, I don't remember her ever taking a vacation while we were growing up. Most first generation Latinos, like my mom, hardly give themselves the luxury of vacation. Vacation to us is a night's gathering for birthdays or anniversaries over a delicious home-cooked meal, sprinkled with lots of laughter and jokes. But that is a far cry from what Americans consider a "vacation". Vacation was just not what we ever did as a family, not in our DNA. Even now, I have family members who continue to work in grueling environments, full of daily safety hazards, no vacations in sight, and in most cases, with zero insurance to boot. We Latinos know endurance very well. So, it's no secret I am drawn to this sport of endurance. Not only that, looking back at my heritage I know this is my sport. 

                       In reflecting for this post I was reminded of staying up late nights in the summers as a young teen, to help my mom at her job as a housekeeper, and even at that young age, knowing that even though I was only a child I could not go to bed until the guests have left, the post-party clean-up work was completed, the dishes were in the washer and the diner tables were cleared. I need to come back often to this post every time I doubt whether or not I belong in this sport or whenever I doubt myself as a 'runner'. I will be reminded then that 'Yes', this is my sport, I am fully connected to it, not only in spirit but physically too. My body knows hard work, it's not scary to sweat for hours on end. Sacrifice, endurance, good attitude, excellent work ethics and a relentless striving towards a goal is deep in my DNA. Those are all my cultural gifts and I am so thankful for them. My hope now is that all those gifts I just listed will one day be instrumental in helping me cross that 50-mile mark of my first real ultra. 

The ever-evolving perception of self

     Last year around this time running 3 miles in one run seemed torturous and impossible. Compare that to just 2 days ago during one of my long runs, I had about 5 miles to go to finish the course and I remember thinking to myself, 'oh, just 5 more miles'. Just this month,  I am starting to entertain the idea that maybe, just maybe, I'll be ready for a marathon in my near future; something I would have never even thought possible for me, for my body.....I mean never!!

     My entire life I've only ever allowed myself to identify with this idea of myself as a 'naturally hefty' person, or 'big boned' if you may.  I have resigned myself to being a 'big girl' and working with it and that was that. My entire wardrobe was about making fat work for me. I became an expert at the 'smoke and mirrors' world of shapes, silhouette and colors that can make you appear smaller. I was resigned to rock my body in its size and call it day and throw away the key. I was clear to me that I've inherited the 'fat genes' and I just had to deal with it the best way possible. Then running came along and changed all that, not immediately....no, the change was so slow and incremental, almost unnoticeable. Gradually, I was able to take on more miles a week, gradually, I built on my strength. Suddenly, one day, I was different and all the labels I had for myself were no longer congruent with this new person I've become. Now I am identifying with much different labels, such as 'strong' or as having endurance and having an ability to persevere. 

     I have begun debating in my head lately whether the new label comes first and then change happens, or does change happens first and then the new label becomes applicable to the self? In my case, the idea of seeing myself as overweight has so intensely solidified in my mind that I could not fathom seeing myself other than, overweight. Therefore, when my body began to prove me otherwise, when I started to change and become stronger, only then did the idea of perhaps feeling out a new way of seeing and identifying myself become remotely possible. In my case I needed to first see and experience those changes in my body before I could even entertain a new, drastically new perception of myself. 

     These days I am much more trusting of my own abilities and I can actually pre-adjust my goals and dreams by simply refocusing my perception of myself to allow for these new realities and identities. Ultimately, I know that the only thing stopping me from running a marathon in the near future is the thought that I can't run a marathon. Removing that one thought, that one obstacle in my head will allow this amazing reality to materialize in my future; it's simple as that and I can't wait. 

Churnings of a slow runner....

I was listening to The Marathon Show podcast and heard the phrase 'you've been chicked'. The term means when a woman passes a man you'd say 'the man has been chicked'. Made me immediately wonder what it's called when a man passes a woman. Perhaps because men are thought of as traditionally faster than women, there is no term for it. But the whole idea of passing made me think of America's fascination with speed and it's affect on runner's rapport towards one another in the field. Being a consistent 11 minute a mile runner made me think of the fact that there will always be faster runners than me, at least until I get faster. On my runs I am most certainly always passed by faster runners, often times younger men who wizz past me triumphantly. The fact that I am passed has not bothered me much until I talked to my hubby and he expressed how good it feels pass other runners. I now run and wonder, 'is this guy mentally screaming victory too as he passes me?', my answer is, 'most likely.' As a good Buddhist, I am working on this and each time it happens I have to remind myself that I am not competing against the person who passes me, I am only ever competing against myself. In a way, each time a person passes me is an opportunity to remind myself of this fact. 

How about you out there....are you a passer or a 'passee'? How do you feel on either end of this issue? In the end I have to celebrate the fact that I can run, the fact that I ran 2 hours and 20 minutes non-stop last weekend and the fact that I have found something I really love to do.....being passed allows me to practice focusing on what I do have....