Show me love - Keep your words

         You can't always get what you want in the way you want it.....Once understood, this understanding could bring so much peace and happiness....yes, happiness. 

       As human beings, we greatly fear and work hard to avoid things not going our way. We spend a lot of time and energy planning ways to manipulate situations, emotions and even work hard as to avoid the huge uncertainty that is disappointment.  This way of thinking is very laborious, yet, one in which most of us fail to see how much we really take part in daily. Most people I come across on a daily basis try very hard to make things go their way, yet, it's a useless and worthless endeavor that can only bring more suffering. When we complain, when we get defensive at the way someone behaves, when something unplanned happens that cause us stress, what do most people do? They start calculating ways to make things go differently. Let me explain. 

      I am not sure when I stopped trying to change people, but I firmly believe, for some time now, that people don't change unless they want to change...PERIOD. I myself am a perfect example of this. My mom use to lecture me (and my sister) for hours and hours and I went on to make all my own personal brand of mistakes, I am talking about massively dumb and stupid mistakes, ones that could have easily gotten me killed or maimed.  None of which I'd like to share here, ever! Of course, as most believe, I could have just avoided all this pain and suffering in my early life by simply following her words of wisdom, yet, as I stated at the beginning, humans never change unless they want to and I only wanted to change years later, on my own terms, in my own time. I finally changed when I read books from people I admired, I changed when I met or read about people who've inspired me in the way they lived and the things they did. I changed when I needed words of wisdom in my life and I sought out to find the right ways of thinking. But, most importantly, I changed when I wanted to change. 

         The biggest take-away here is that it's a total waste of time to fight what is, it's a total waste of time to stick your hands in anyone's life thinking you have the magic key to their happiness, or the right words to bring about nirvana(, not to mention a bit egoistic as well). We, individually, don't hold the key to everyone's problems, in fact, only the individual knows what will help them get out of their own personal hell, or karma. When people behave unpredictably, most people, viscerally, make an effort to try to change this behavior. We do this in many ways, sometimes in such subtle ways, we might not even know we are doing it, sometimes, not so subtle. I have found myself doing that in my own marriage by either pouting, or becoming silent and cold when my husband behaves a way I in which I disagree. 

        Recently, more and more I have felt the need to affect others less and less. My inaction when things don't go my way does not mean I don't care, it just means that I know the nature of humanity and I trust that the person involved will, on their own terms, find their way, without my personalized brand of wisdom getting in the way. To try and change another's mind is futile and wasteful. So now, when things don't go as I wish I say my peace, then simply sit in love. Nothing leaves me but love, not contempt, not passive aggressiveness, not defensiveness. At age 44 I know that the act of love is allowing others to be themselves at their most basic, common denominator level self they cold be and not fighting it, at all. The act of love is called "allow". 

          But I have found there IS a way to more effectively ring about change in others without ever opening your mouth, and that is through action. I have learned this lesson from none other than my husband who has taught me so much about true friendship, and without ever uttering a single words about the subject mind you. His actions as an equal partner and member of our family says love daily. Also, my grandmother, who lived her 98 years of life true to her deep convictions and who treated all people she came across with respect, kindness and hospitality, no matter how they behaved towards her. Actions, as you see, are more pure than words ever could be, for they require you yourself to live your convictions and as the quote says, "Actions speak louder than words." 

          I believe running has helped me see the simplicity and the beauty of actions (versus mere words). For example, one can talk about running all they want, but it's the action of running that makes you a runner. Same goes for love, you can say you love 'unconditionally' all you want, but it's the act of loving unconditionally that makes that statement true. Loving unconditionally does not say, "I love you IF", it says, "I love you regardless of.....". Perhaps, that is why ultimately I have never been a big fan of overly flowery compliments or gushy accolades. In fact, to be totally honest, they have always made me a bit uneasy....okay, very uneasy. Flowery compliments and gushy language just clouds things rather than clarify, they make things more complex and less simple. Besides, once love is professed, does one really need to renew one's love vows so often? And if yes? Why? what does that say about the quality of that love? In a marriage, for example, I feel the partnership, the camaraderie of the relationship and  the friendship alone fills me with so much love; need we continually fan some flame with flowery words? 

      

Longer and Longer runs....how to make it easier

                   You know training is going well when you begin thinking of a 4 or a 6-miler as "easy". Yesterday I did a 7-miler and my body adjusted beautifully, no stiffness, no pain, not even the day after. Also, I have been doing my best to stretch after every run and it has been helping to keep me pain free and flexible. What has been getting tough is making the runs mentally interesting. Because not all runs could be in a beautiful forest, which would be ideal, I often need to come up with ways to entertain myself over the 1-3 hours I am out there. Below are some ways I have found help. 

1. Audio books downloaded from your local library via your Overdrive app on your phone
2. Music
3. Podcasts. My favorite podcasts are Marathon Training Academy with trevor and Angie and The Ultrarunner Podcast. Either will always have interesting, almost hour-long shows. 
4. If in a forest or a trail, I don't need anything....Just the sounds of nature is enough to make the run fun. Plus, you need your ears to stay alert and not slip and fall and most likely you will run into turtles, bizarre birds and many other creature. Huge bonus. 
5. Music- New music based on a "radio" from a song you already have. On Spotify you can turn any song into a "radio" and the program selects music similar to this song. Great way to find great music you are likely to love. 
6. When really suffering I count, 1-20, then back again, 1-20. At the end of every 20 I fold down a finger and when I get to 100 I start again. This works best when in lots of discomfort from heat, or exertion but I know there's more in the tank. Helps to keep your mind from convincing you to stop.
7. A new route of any kind does the trick! This works best for really long runs. Find a beautiful, never explored route and explore it. Time will go by really fast. 
8. Some people find it easier to run with others. Not my thing. Long story. This is a tough one for slower runners like me....most often we get left behind and run on our own anyway, so its best to start alone anyway. Less confusion and less broken expectations. 
9. Run in the elements. Nothing makes you feel more like a badass than running in the elements. Whether it's in the rain, wind or in the snow, running in weather other than good weather can be quite entertaining. Especially, if you have the right gear. It would be no use running in 3 inches of snow if you did not have those nifty snow claws to wear over your shoes, same as it would be useless to run in the rain without a plastic bag in which to store your phone. 

               I have a 14-miler this Sunday and I am starting to think of where I could explore in Nassau County, Long Island, where I am for another week and a half. 

Secret to injury and stress-free running

               This morning I got up at 6am to get to the gym early. I was not feeling the run at all; my legs felt heavy from yesterday's weight lifting session. But, I was ready as ready can be. For the past 2 weeks I have been using a very successful formula for non-injury and it works for me. Not sure it works for everyone, but so far I've been able to incrementally up my miles each week without stressing my body (and mind) out.

Here is the formula for non-injury and stress-free milage increase for marathon training:

1. Do all runs that feel long to you this way: the beginning 90% at an easy aerobic, and 10% of the end at much faster pace. You should be fully warmed up by this point therefore your "sprint" should be quite easy to accomplish. 

2.  To help keep you at an easy pace listen to audiobook, podcast, comedy, news, or watch a movie (if on a treadmill). Below is a comedy show on Netflix I watch on my run today (during the aerobic portion of my run that is). 

3. To do your "KICK" at the end make a fast paced playlist on your music player and ONLY turn it on then. I personally have a Spotify and my account name is Miriamsart, in case you want to follow me. 

4. As your training progresses, and you feel stronger, increase the percentage in which you sprint. (these will become your speed runs). 

5. I use to not be a proponent of cross-training. In fact, I always was the one runner who swore she only loved to run, therefore would ever only run. But THE WEEK I began weight-lifting every other day I noticed an increase in the power in my legs and my core. Just remember not to do a BIG weight lifting day (for your legs especially) the day before a long run, or you WILL suffer. 

6. Always bring water with you. Take sips as needed. 

7. ALWAYS, I mean ALWAYS stretch after running....below are the three stretches I ALWAYS do after every single run....

This is the face of a proud runner. Now to face the day. 

Tips and Advice for 24-hour Challenges

I have been researching 24-hour challenges all day and here are some of the tips and advice I have picked up along the way. Thought I'd share here for others to use. Have not yet decided which one but it's between two in the state of Virginia. These are NOT my ideas. I have scoured all over online to find these tips....I have created hot links to give proper credit to some of the ideas. 

* 5/1 ratio is recommended over a 25/5 ratio. Much easier in the end. 
* The total running that you do is not much longer than your longest continuous training run or race
* For the race, use caffeine to stay awake at night, and don't use any for a month before the race, in order to increase its effect.
*  Timex Ironman Triathlon watch which has an alarm feature that can be set to go off repeatedly at five and then one minute intervals
* For 24 hours it appears that the best runners to 10-20% more miles in the first half than the 2nd half.
*  I would say start out with a plan to run for 30 mins. then walk for 10 mins. After 12 hours or so (assuming the race starts sometime in the late morning or noon), maybe switch to a shorter turnover between walking and running, doing 15 mins. run and 5 mins. walk.
* If you can get good sleep the 2 nights before the race you will be way ahead
* Make sure you have sufficient clothing to stay warm at night when you are moving slow and your body temperature drops because you are supposed to be asleep
* many of the (what i thought to be) soloists were going with 2 water bottles and a small under-saddle mounted pack
* be sure to size up a 1/2 size in the shoes and have an extra pair on hand for the 2nd half maybe in a drop bag along the way or with your crew. 
* Back to back weekend long runs are huge however. 20,25,30 on sat. Followed by another 20-25 on sun 
*  Bring along first aid medication and tools and treat your blisters and chafing before they start becoming a problem
*  A timer with alarms set according to your planned pacing is going to help a lot.
* It can be helpful to break down the day into more digestible morsels and set your run/walk strategy accordingly. You can for example take it 30 minutes at a time and set a 25-minute run to 5-minute walk ratio
* Shoes should fit right which normally means, at least half an inch of room in front of your longest toe!  So, when you get fitted for a shoe, there should be no contact anywhere between your forefoot and the sides and front of the shoe  and there should be at least half an inch of room in front of your longest toe of your “longer” foot!  For people with wider feet, you could need slightly more than half an inch of room!
*  “make an hourly food plan with enough calories, water, and electrolytes to meet your needs,”
* No matter how good or how bad you feel, it won’t last,’” says Rusch. “Knowing this keeps me in check when I feel great and helps me push when I feel terrible. You will feel both. And you won’t be the only one.”
* Learn to eat a lot while moving.
* Take care of small problems before they become big problems. Fix little hotspots and blisters before they progress. Stay ahead of dehydration.