Mental chatter.....churning and updates

        I am keenly aware of how little interest MOST people have in talking about running. I only need to mention anything above a 5K and most people's eyes check out and quickly throw the focus on other more common topics. For this reason alone I pretty much hold back all running talk with all people in my life. With even my husband, who also happens to be a runner, but not a race guy, I find myself thinking, "oh this is way too boring to bring up with him."

         My latest craze has been searching and finding a destination race worth a mother's sacrifice and enormous planning effort that it will surely entail. I am searching for a race I would not hesitate to spend a good 2 grand on and leave my kids for two plus days for....one I could daydream about for hours on end every week of training and tear up occasionally thinking of crossing the finish line. The dilemma for a solitary runner like myself is who to share this with? I brought up the subject with my hubby and his initial response was of course the cost. I've got to admit, this response was not the supportive response I envisioned but it's one I understand well. Change is tough for all of us. It;'s not up to him to believe in my dreams, that is my job. I learned that long ago and as soon as he began to rationalize MY whole dream into an impossibility I decided I did not need his understanding, not now.....he'll come around I reassured myself...he always does.

         Yesterday, I was at Whole Foods and every month they have a free running magazine at their exit, which of course, I grab and devour while eating my lunch. This article about group running and how they are 'all the rage' made me sneer. I've had my try at group runs and as a slower runner they pretty much suck. Most women who run my pace are doing intervals and intervals just does not work with me AT ALL. How does one manage to zone out and relax into ones run if you need to stop and walk every....what.....30 second!? nope, not for me. There, that is where I came to realize I am a solitary runner and I like it that way.

        I also wanted to give an update on the non-running workouts as I heal from this injury that does not seem to be subsiding. I emailed the podiatrist and asked about my x-rays. Waiting to hear form him hopefully tomorrow. In the meantime, I am having a hell of a time working through my irrational shyness at the gym. I am proud of how far I've come. I can now choose to do the weights and use every machine in the place without feeling self-conscious. I've got to say choosing angry music helped tremendously with this endeavor. One day I will need to write about the benefits of music on ones energy and mood. Surprisingly I have been going to the gym from 6-7:30 every day since my teacher vacation began. I will either walk for an hour and half uphill or do weights for 1/2 an hour and walk uphill for 45 minutes. The elliptical has burned me. I would seriously rather cut my tongue than use one of the things. Let's just say they are NOT made for short people and most of the time I find myself feeling too uncomfortable. The uphill walking is exhausting but at least I can readjust my body as needed when uncomfortable.

       I need to check the calendar and see when I need to start marathon training...the 20 week mark will be here in a bout a week and I may just need to continue to do other forms of cardio and once I heal I can find some short 16-week plan to follow that will help me accomplish my goals. So far I only have the MCM for October but if I can train better I MAY be able to do the 50K leg of the West Virginia Trilogy also around the same time. It just all depends on how my body heals and it's no sense fretting about it now, but, as weeks go by and my foot feels the same dull pain I get more and more nervous.

Update on current struggles....

                  I've been debating back and forth about whether to do the marathon I have planned in February.  There is apart of me that thinks that doing so would signify that I am giving up, but the logical side of me is telling me that I have other priorities that are more meaningful and those are (1) I do not want to get injured. I have not had a chance to train as well as I should have and (2) I have a more important (personally meaningful) marathon in June I want to be ready for and (3) If I get injured I won't be able to run for some time and THAT would be just a really bad place to be for me. Running helps me stay balanced, not only physically, but emotionally, so stopping would be even worse than not doing the race. 

                 I've been following a high fat, low carb way of eating and I'm only on day 4, so I will report back soon how that's going. So far it's been very good. One immediate change I notice is the lack of cravings. I did not have a lot of that anyway, but I do have a sense of satisfaction all day and am not searching for mid-meal "snacking" at all. 

                  Been hitting a rut with motivation lately. Took 3 days off because the bottom of my right foot was stiff and sore. It's less now and no matter what I am able to run with it, but the dull, persistent ache is there for most of the day. Also, I cannot seem to get out of bed at all anymore. I talk myself back to sleep and convince my sleepy mind at the moment that I will make the run up later, which of course, happens maybe only half the time. On that note...it's 3am and I am going back to sleep....need ot be up at 4:40am to run at 5. Nite!

Updates on longer runs, running stores and new buys

Quick updates....

***I ran 11 miles this past Saturday.....I have never run that much at one time in my life....Needless to say I felt amazing. I was also happy to find that the next day I experienced very little cramping. 

***Making time to run is one of my big issues lately.  Although I am still running about 20-22 miles a week, more and more if it is being chewed up by my long runs, making the weekday runs easier and easier to miss.......In addition, the cold makes running outdoors so unappealing, despite knowing that the minute I get out there I am loving it within minutes of starting. It's the 'getting out there' that takes a high level of resolve, resolve I lack when trying to make up needed sleep.

***I found a running store a few blocks form my house. PR Running. I went in and bought Under Armor women's shorts, 2 pairs of Wright socks, and a leg compression sleeve. The man who helped me was quite friendly, even measured my calf to measure me for the right compression calf sleeve. I was happy to get a free copy of Competitor magazine, which I love. Can't wait to have a minute to go through it. Being a full time teacher with 2 young kids leaves you with very little me time....reading is quite a luxury. 

***In the next few weeks I will see how my body handles the upping of long-run miles. I know myself and only in seeing that I am handling these higher miles well will I begin to even entertain the possibility of preparing for a marathon in late 2013, or early 2014. No sense rushing this decision. In time it will become clear whether or not I can wrap my mind around this new possibility.

*** Tossing around the idea of doing a juice fast before going to my mom's next weekend. I will need the weekend to plan and buy enough vegetables and fruits to make double what I normally drink. I am curious to see if juicing more daily affects my level of performance while running. Will update you all on that as I find out.