You don't have to like it, agree with it or have an opinion

 Last week, I was sitting with a group of women of all ages and we were talking about tattoos. One married woman began saying that she once wanted one very much, yet, her husband right off the bat told her he was absolutely not "into them" therefore she should not get one. I find it interesting how some women don't question this ownership type relationship approach and don't feel uneasy being told what to do with their bodies. I hear it all the time too when it comes to running at night, for example. Women will pronounce, without an ounce of questioning, how their loving and caring husbands would never "let" them run alone, or at night or at dawn, or in a specific location.... The main thought that always goes through my mind when I hear these blatant ownership type statements is, "I am glad I don't have anyone in my life that is telling me what to do with my body." Seems to me that in the plight to feel safe we have willingly and almost happily abandoned the idea of ourselves as free wheeling souls, with ideas of our own, dreams of our own.....and a will to choose our own destinies. 

                   

              I am not going to lie and say my husband was crazy about me getting a huge arm tattoo, yet, I sat him down and explained that this was very important to me to express my sense of beauty in this manner, that I have been wanting this for years, this was my body and most importantly, due to my past experience with sexual abuse as a young adult, it was most important for me, solely, to execute decisions about my body. He understood completely and did not say another word. At times like these I am so glad I did not grow up with my dad, who himself was a forceful, unrelenting force in our home before my parents divorced. I was therefore raised expecting to have full ownership of my body, my decisions and the consequences of them. Yet, it's not like I would have never married anyone with an overactive chivalry muscle anyway.... men like that often felt suffocating, somewhat creepy and overly intense. They begin every relationship by laying it on so heavy up front only to fade into childish expectations and blaming behavior directed at you for having had to fake it for so long. 

                  Running, along with any other passion you might have, (like tattoos, or gardening....etc) is an expression of your freedom. Choose partners and friends who are not intimidated by your level of passion for running or tattoos, or whatever....choose a partner who give you all the space you need to find you. It's not that important that they know all about your passion, but it's important that they begin to invest in the better you that comes as a result of your freedom. It's understandable that your loved one want you to be safe and sound and ask that you be safe when running outdoors, yet, it's another whole story to be told that you can't go. HUGE difference. The more a partner or friend fans the flames of fear, the less able YOU are to use your own instincts to assess any situation. Choose your friends and partners carefully....



            

                     

My new running buddy

My daughter, my youngest who is 8 years old, has been biking with me while I go on my runs. Last week, while at my mom's in Long Island, we even did a 11 mile bike/run course to Jones Beach and back. Here she is with MY bike....of course, she is also wearing her signature flannel shirt wrapped around her waist......this shirt has been everywhere this summer....yes, even on 90 degree days. Not sure how long she will enjoy doing this with me, but I will try to milk it for all it's worth. 

Running with my 9-year old

               I have been running with my son about 3 times a week. He is nine and the idea just came up on day for him to go with me on my nightly run. He agreed, got dressed up and off we went. The idea was to run from our house to Safeway, which is about a mile north of where we live. Once we got there, he kept saying, "I want to challenge myself" and would keep adding a little more to our "challenge" each time. By the end of the night we had completed 5 miles and this is the picture I shot of him as he announces his night's total. 

              Surprisingly, he did not feel any discomfort the next morning and from that day on he did my 4-5 mile weekday runs with me. What took me 2 months to accomplish back when I began running, took him one day. YOUTH! I'm not sure how long this new habit of his might last, but all I know is that I am very much enjoying seeing a different side of my little one. At home, what I most often see is him bothering his sister, or moody because he's unable to have any 'screen time' and feeling "bored"! These runs have been so special to me. I do hope they continue for many more weeks, and even years.