4am committments

                4:00am wake ups....They have been tough to commit to this week, especially. I am an elementary school teacher and this past Monday the kids came back to school from summer vacation.  Twice I chose to stay in bed (caved) and did the mental gymnastics while in bed, cuddled up to my partner pillow, as I lay fully awake, trying to maneuver the day at hand and see where else I can possibly fit today's training, if not this morning. What happens after is even more torturous than being yanked out of a warm, cozy bed at 4am. The consequence, if you may, is a day-long bout of pure guilt that lasts all day long, not to mention loss of sunny disposition I normally carry when I do get that workout done. 
            Today while reading the latest copy of UltraRunning (Sept. 2016 edition) there is this article titled The 4:30am rule. One line stuck out to me,

            "If you have no choice, anything is possible. When the alarm goes off at 4:30am., literally or figuratively, get up and take action. You committed ahead of time, and whether or not you feel like doing it in the moment doesn't really matter if you're working towards something aligned with your higher purposes in life. 4:30am moments happen all the time, and the more you follow through on previous commitments when push comes to shove, the easier it becomes to do it regularly."

Sheehan is after my heart

                   I am having a great time reading this book. Borrowed from my public library. I have never read anything like this before. He writes about running exactly how I have felt about it all along, yet have not been able to verbalize it. Feel like I need to buy my own copy too.....

I looked online and here are some awesome quotes I love, love, love:

***“Success means having the courage, the determination, and the will to become the person you believe you were meant to be.” 

***“The mind's first step to self-awareness must be through the body.” 

***"If you want to win anything - a race, yourself, your life - you have to go a little berserk."

*** "Have you ever felt worse after a run?"

***"To keep from decaying, to be a winner, the athlete must accept pain--not only accept it, but look for it, live with it, learn not to fear it."

***"The music of a marathon is a powerful strain, one of those tunes of glory. It asks us to forsake pleasures, to discipline the body, to find courage, to renew faith and to become one's own person, utterly and completely."

***“The true runner is a very fortunate person. He has found something in him that is just perfect.” 
― George Sheehan

Boston.....

                 I have been in a daze since hearing of the bombings. Simultaneously I'm trying to keep my kids from hearing about it while at the same time I'm constantly checking to see what else they know, why, why now, why this way? Yet, I keep coming back to the same thought, 'what is any more information really going to do for families who have lost loved ones, or victims who have lost limbs?'. 

           But I can't help it, the questions keep on rolling by, who would do something like this? How does one justify what they do in such a way that they can advance forward and actually carry through a brutal slaughter like this? 

          I just don't understand it, and perhaps I never will. A large part of me wants, craves and aches some reassurance that there will be justice, that maybe, just maybe, it's not as bad as they report it. Yet, the raw and bloody nature of what we see and read is there, like a huge ugly wound, gaping it's jagged mouth at us. 

        The only ray of light in this situation has been seeing the people unaffected by the tragedy coming together in support of the hurt, the dying, unthinkingly placing themselves in the midst of possible danger. Humanity is always most beautiful at the ugliest moments.