Trust your training, trust your body

                Over a month ago I finished a 50-miler, yet, right now it feels like a struggle to run even 5, and that. is. okay. I now know my body enough to know that it all changes, all the time, nothing stays the same, ever. The minute one stops working out the body goes down, yet, on the flipside, the minute one begins working out again the body meets the challenge, so, healthy body changes happen ever.....so....slowwwwly, in both directions. When I was in my 20's I'd often suddenly realize I had not run for some time and to alleviate the guilt I'd go out and pump out 5 miles and then be totally debilitated the next day. So, I now know that my abilities are not gone when I change my workouts, that although it decreates, it does not disappear instatly,  it can only come back slowly, with deliberate and incremental changes to my running over time. Trust your training and your body. It all ultimately comes down to trust and trust only builds with experience. So yes, I will work my ass off to 'get it back'. Also, even though things seem less serious right now in my training, that is not the case; I am deliberately strengthening other parts of my body with weightlifting. Also, how amazing is this human body we live in? With every new challenge my body has risen to the occasion, never letting me down. I don't only need to get my body ready, my beliefs, my resolve, the images I place in my head all play a huge part in making everything fall into place in the end. In 10 months I would have been working my ass off to be ready to run 62 miles. I will aim to do prepare for this by first and foremost listening, respecting and properly pacing my body through the training.

20 miler from 12am-5am, Oh, and on a work night

           I completed 20 miles before 5:30am today.... on a work night, no less. Yup, that is what you do if you are a full-time working mom and are attempting to train for a 50-miler, but don't want to miss out on time with kids and hubby on the weekend. I did rest a lot this weekend in anticipation of the little sleep I would get due to this long run, and it's Monday and I have slept a total of zero hours and I am so far feeling okay, thanks to coffee. I don't think I could do an 8 miler tonight, as originally planned, but I will certainly do an 8 tomorrow, maybe even tomorrow morning, to simulate running on "tired legs". I was proud to have very little chafing this time. I got waterproof KT tape, which costs a mint, and had my hubby help me tape up my back bra line, it was easy for him to find where to place the tape for only a week ago I go bad chafing there and it was just scabbing over. Next week, I will attempt a 30-miler and no mater how that goes I will walk away feeling prepared having run a respectable peak distance for my race. 

My first 50.....Itinerary

This is so exciting.....I cannot wait ...3 more weeks....

20 miles today.....8 the next day
two 3 milers during the week
Then a 30 miler, then taper for 2 weeks....
Last longish run will be maybe an 8 the weekend before. 

Time	What	Where
Friday	Take plane to Knoxville	Airport in Tennessee
Friday	Car rental
Friday 2:30-4pm	Try to catch Catra Corbett's keynote speaker	Alcoa High School
Friday 2-6pm	Packet pick up	Alcoa High School,
Friday 5-6pm	Mandatory pre-race meeting with Catra Corbett	Alcoa High School,
Friday  6-7pm	Pre-race Pasta Dinner	Alcoa High School,
Friday 3pm check-in	Hotel	Alcoa, TN,
Saturday 8pm	Race Start
Sunday 10am	Estimated finishing time
Sunday 2pm	Race closes for all
Monday, 12pm	Hotel check-out
Monday 3pm or before	Car drop-off
Monday 2pm	Plane back home United	DC airport

Nothing beats strong

8 miles before 6am baby..
Nothing beats strong...

Beautiful Life----

                         My physical therapist was very interested in my running and asked several questions not usual for doctors, but he was very friendly so I obliged. The two questions I remember were, "Do you get obsessed with things a lot?" and "Do you kids have the same level of energy as you do?". Oh, and I just remember one more, "What does your husband think of all your running." Each question was answered clearly, but each question revealed more about him than me. The more I get into my world of running the more I forget how much a visual disconnect my presentation must be to a casual observer. Here I am, a middle-aged woman with some extra weight on her claiming she ran for 8 hours, while injured with an upper back injury no less. I have long ago dropped the wonderings of whether or not I am believed so it took a bit to fully grasp why all the questions. I answered each question with a smile and quiet joy. 

               Today I covered 16 miles. I have decided to do another 16 miles tomorrow night in order to do a back-to-back run. I felt very stiff before the run, warmed up by mile 3 and at mile 13 I was so excited to almost be done that I ran faster than the first 12 miles. Next week I will try two 20's in a row and one more weeks of that and I will be ready for this 50.....at least mentally I will be ready. 

                I heard an Oprah interview with Amy Purdy and my life changed. A few takeaways from the interview that will stay with me forever. When she clinically died the Spirit told her to not be afraid and that it will all make sense in the end. I have been through a lot in my life and these two messages make me fear future tribulations less, but also make me think that all I've been through is part of the bigger picture. A lot of learning lately it seems. I have also been reading Maya Angelou's last published book, Mom & Me and Mom. As the author has shown in her story, LOVE is the most powerful energy we have. Love can make anything possible; all one has to do is read her life story to know just how powerful and life-changing LOVE has been in her life. 

                 

                  Right now I am listening to an library-borrowed audiobook of Tom Sawyer. Both children fully enjoying the story and it tickles me to see them chuckle loudly at parts of the story. 

The Injury Obstacle

                      Nothing like an injury to put your whole life into a new focus. It began in the middle of the night. I got up to use the bathroom and I felt a stabbing pain in my right scapula. I could not find any standing, sitting or laying position in which I did not feel the deep pain. It's important to add that I am no stranger to pain. I have run many races with pain running right there beside me. Additionally, with both my kids I labored over 24 hours each during their birth. But something about this new pain made it feel terrifying and much worse. Having a tired brain the first thought I grabbed on to was that I felt betrayed. Betrayed by my body, by this body I felt I knew way too well. Just a day ago I had covered 16 miles and now this! I did not understand. At two am, what slowly began to come to me what I had done with my body two days ago. Two days ago, I had cleaned all three bathtubs in my home to prepare for my sister's visit that weekend. That is where I hurt myself.

So, it turns out my deal ol' body did not betray me after all. I simply forgot two very important facts about the human body, and that is that it remembers all exertion you make, but way later. Second rule, no body pain experienced is EVER just random, EVERY pain, every twitch has a reason. The human body does not make mistakes. 

             I have been mentally debating whether to drop out of the 50 mile race this March and running the 50K instead but something in me still holds hope. Deep inside, I know that I can do a 50 mile race but in order to do it I have to want it bad enough to actually cross that finish line. Not only that but I have to seal shut any doubts I may have about not making it somewhere deep underground.....Another part of me is not yet sure if I am willing to put in the level of commitment required to cross that finish line. I am terrified and ever so slowly crawling to fearlessness.....

             more to come.....

You are going nowhere without your mental game

                        I have been doing lots of research lately about what it takes to run and complete a 50 mile race. One consistent message I keep getting is that you should be running/walking at least 6/8 hours on your long run days for at least 2-3 long runs before the race. 
                        I am visiting my mom for the holiday and her husband, Marcelo, works in construction. On a -4 degree day he came home after work and reported that he'd worked outdoors the entire day and for the whole time he was performing some heavy duty labor. Immediately my mind goes to endurance. This 50+ year old man just came home from a 7-8 hour physically demanding workday and although he looked exhausted one can ask how is this different from a 5-6 hour training run? There is no difference. Equally, a few months back we hired four tree cutters to cut down a tree in our back yard and within 6 hours they had not only cut the tree down but they left no trace of it in and around our property. They did this with very little use of machines. Each worker drug out giant pieces of tree out to a truck on their backs. 

                         So not only do these two examples above illustrate that human endurance is something more prevalent in our community and that we all have come close contact with endurance in some form in our lives and not necessarily related to sports. Yet, what makes this fact even more fascinating is the mental aspect involved in endurance. Here are a few things I have learned so far about the mental aspects involved with endurance. 

* Your thoughts, and your thoughts alone, decide what is difficult and what is doable. Which explains why some days a 3-mile run can seem super tough and on another day it's seen as a breeze. 

* The minute you sign up for a race you are planting a seed in your own brain that this is possible. The very act of signing up for any race and planning other logistics around it, such as flight, hotel, etc... is an act of self-convincing. 

* Your body will meet your mind. Dream big baby! Of course you have to put in the work to train for any given endurance event, whether it's your job or a race. Yet, your body is absolutely able to grow to the dream your dream for it. Nothing is impossible. 
           
                          


                          

Running Goals

         Ever since I started running again in 2013 I have been become real good at setting realistic goals for myself in terms of running. After completing an 8K race in 2013 I set my goals to the half marathon and soon, I had signed up for a 50K in West Virginia. Granted, moving from a half marathon distance to a 50K distance with a crazy elevation is a bit odd, it worked for me. I then went on to running 7 marathons and even qualifying as a Marathon Maniac. 

        But where are my goals now? It all depends on what happens in my next 3 races. I have the Marine Corps in two weeks, the Rehoboth Beach Marathon in December and my first 50 miler in March. My short term goals are obviously to finish all three races. Speed is not really part of my goals for these coming months, but I would like to work on time at some point in the future. I can't work on my speed goals now for to work on speed it would require me working on my eating habits and while training for marathons and a 50 miler it would be tough to simultaneously work on my weight and restricting calories and such. Yet, I would like to move off running after March 2018 and focus primarily on weight training, some running and mainly focusing on the quality of my food intake. 

         But I do have another goal brewing and it's the one of going back to the West Virginia Trilogy in the fall of 2018 and beating my time from the last time I did a 50K there. Now, THAT would be a worthwhile goal. When I first ran it I did it within second of the cutoff go 10 hours. It has rained that day and I had fallen several times and the back of my thigh was in extreme pain, but I finished. The RD of the race later wrote me a hand-written note and said he's hope to see me the next year and I have never gone back to get my vengeance on that mountain. So as this dream of going back to the crazy mountains brews I dream of finding new exciting adventures far and wide. When I go to Tennessee in March to run my 50 miler that would be the first time I would leave my little family and be away from them for so long, three days! This trip is like getting my toes wet and seeing how it goes, trying out something new. I have a strong feeling I am going to love it. 
             
             But I cannot even allow myself to think that far ahead yet. First, the marathons this fall, then the race in March and then, ever so slowly open the door to the possibility of going back to the mountains to beat my time. Hills are not my favorite thing either. Yet, exploring new aspects of my running is what makes running worth while. What are your running goals?

 

 

          

Closer to that finish line

             Yesterday I called MainStay Suites in Alcoa, Tennessee and reserved 3 days for my 50-miler race in March of 2018. This was just one step closer to getting this dream to come true. Next, reserve a plane ticket, but I am waiting for the price to be right. 
              There is a lot one has to do physically to get ready for any race, yet, getting ones mind to go along these crazy distances also takes a lot of work, it's half the battle. To prepare for this I have been doing a lot of visualizing, trying to picture myself at that finish line and getting ready for the high level of discomfort and maybe even pain that I would have to go through. I have been reading about running long distances and also watching Youtube videos after Youtube videos created by people who have successfully completed the distance and have some valuable advice to give. Each one of these activities prepares me mentally and the more work I do on this end, the more I feel I am getting emotionally ready to tackle the distance. Whether or not I complete the distance will remain a mystery until that day, but I am surely going to do my best now to get all my ducks in order. No rock will be left unturned, giving this my all. 

Powerful beyond measure

                            On a newly minted 2017-2018 paper calendar, I penciled in all my required training miles for both my fall marathons and the ultra in March of next year. After completing the task, which took an hour or more, frankly, I am not sure about this. The back, to back, to back long runs are quite daunting to the mind and I am afraid of getting to those later months and feeling completely overwhelmed and not accomplishing the task I set out to do. But, after having lived this process in training for past marathons, I know that is only fear speaking, and sometimes fear is way too cautious, for fear can literally choke the life out of you. 

                             In trying to come up with ways to tackle this feeling of enormity and overwhelming sense of dread, I know, deep inside that all I need to do, on any given day, is attack that day, accomplish those day miles and continue to put my 'nose to the grind each and every day. The minute I add up the weekly miles in my head or think about the actual distance of a, say,  a 30 miler and a 15 back-to-back, I shudder. But that keeps me focused is that I want this! I want this so much. Deep inside I know that what will make this possible for me (or not) will be the way I think about it. In running long races, more than any other activity I know of, one needs to be really aware of the consequences, if you may, ones' thoughts. Yes, training is important, it's half the preparation. Yet, where my mind is at is JUST as important. My thinking could make this happen, or could make it unravel faster than I can run a mile. I know now that within me, and within the contents of my thoughts, lie all the strength I need to make this race happen. Like the famous Marianne Williamson quote says, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."  

                            I AM powerful beyond measure. But it's not just me that is powerful, everyone I meet is powerful beyond measure. It saddens me when I meet someone and the first thing they tell me when they know I run far is, "I could never do that". Words are so incredibly powerful, that in that statement alone they instantly strip away their own power. In that instant they are totally right, they could never do that. But not because they can't, but because they believe they can't. Beliefs are powerful things. They can tie us down or liberate us. They can cause great suffering or heal. I know a woman who is in an abusive marriage for almost two decades now. Kids have grown and gone, she has a good job to be able to financially support herself, but still, she remains, tied to this horrible man. To all of us looking at her life from the outside we can clearly see that she could leave at any moment, but to her, she is solidly bound to this jerk and sees no way out. 

                          Clearly, I have a lot of work to do. Getting my mind to believe that this is possible is what I am working on right now. To get myself there I am reading lots of testimonials from first time 50 mile runners, listening to ultra running podcasts, and getting as much sleep, relaxation and rest as I can when I am not running. Once the miles begin piling up and I get stronger I will feel even more confident. In the meantime, one run at a time. 

                          

Gulp

I opened up my Facebook and THIS is what I see. I guess it's more and more official as the days roll in. 

Do what you fear most....

         The Wheel of Fortune is constantly spinning, always something new in the horizon, we never get a rest from fearing what may lie around the corner. When things are going well in our lives, we always fear what may happen next to ruin our current state of peace. When things are bad, we fear this stage may last long and cause continuous discomfort and pain. There is a way out of this constant fear of 'what may come next' and it's found in confronting it head-on. 

     Planning for races, long races especially, brings such a sense of awe and fear that it almost takes my breath away every time I think about the enormity of the challenge. I just signed up for my first 50 miler and I have NO idea how I will ever get this done. I know I can, with proper training and the proper mental game all is possible, yet, still, I cannot fathom YET all it would take to cross that line; it's a terrifying thought. 

      One interesting thing about fear though is that once you have faced the fear and defeated it, you know it is possible and no matter how big the next challenge is you now know it is possible to defeat fear. My daughter did gymnastics for some time and when it came time to do her first ever performance in front of a crowd she froze. She told me in very dramatic fashion that she could not, would not, do it. I told her that no matter what she needed to do it, that only in seeing it through would she ever feel right and that if she caved now she would forever cave at all challenges. Sure enough she did it and from that challenge forward she knew the fear was a mere facade; she knew from that day forward now to believe the fear, but to face it and only in facing it, would the anxiety surrounding it go away.