I was at mile 4.5 of my 5-mile run and every time I passed someone on my path I could not stop thinking about the fact that every part of my body was probably jiggling as I ran past these strangers and wondered what my big bouncing ass must look like to them. It's slightly funny but also somewhat a very serious subject to all women. Although most of my body has tightened up quite a bit during this two years of running, I find myself still having to shove these annoying insecurities right back from the dark hole from where they came, during each and every run.
I could easily do what most people seem to do when they feel insecure about their rear, they cover it up with a fun running skirt, or with long shirt. But a stubborn part of me does not feel like covering anything up, and wouldn't that communicate to me that I feel shame in my body. After all the respect I've grown to feel over my body after running the 50k, then the marathon, there is no way in hell I would act in any way that would communicate shame to myself.
Yet still, the insecure feelings persist, each and every run comes with its own set of mental battle. But I think running in daylight, and letting my body freely jiggle without a care as I pump forward with power, strength and pride has a bigger, very important purpose. I am a regular sized woman running, and in simply doing that I claim strength, pride and power as something inherently mine. In doing so I allow other women, just like me to also feel the same sense of entitlement regardless of their body type, or size. As I chug along with head held high, claiming my streets, my body as mine, my power I am saying, "Girl, you too could feel strong, free, and shameless in your beautiful gift of a body."
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