Lessons in the Nature of Confidence

                 This morning I woke up totally convinced I would pull myself out of the 50K race I have signed up for in October 2013. There is something about the mornings that make me doubt every bit of myself and this morning I came very close to actually caving under the pressure of my ever-creeping fears. I ended up rolling myself out of bed anyway and getting my butt out the door. After completing 10 miles I was beaming and once again my confidence was filled. The confidence is so short lived though and only going out and running again can replenish that confidence. At this point I will continue to follow my training program, and set aside all fears of potential logistical issues I perceive will pop once I start working again and the increasing milage. I will let those future problems be tackled as they arise, later, and hope that my growing strength will help boost my confidence. 

  

                 Regardless of what happens with this decision on the 50K race, these struggles with confidence have been so revealing on the flimsy nature of confidence. I could have easily cowered to my fears and given up. But each time I push past those fears and go for a long run, I am again fully replenished. How amazing to discover that lack of confidence is only a smokescreen; the more I ignore it the more it melts away to nothing.