no apologies....2020 version

One thing running does to you is it makes you brutally honest. It could be a side affect from having the needs to address small body issues as the come up while running. In running, if one did not see  diagnose an issue clearly one cannot in essence fix the issue. In running it's of utmost importance to fix the issues as they come up and before they get huge. So runners become really good at tackling the issue at hand, as it comes up, this moment. We don't like to sit on issues. This is the lens I now use to address my world. Things come up and they are addressed, no matter how tough the "thing" is, leaving the issue to linger for another day is simply not an option. I bring this up because I have noticed myself become increasingly frustrated and incredibly impatience with how fear of confrontation from people who choose to run away instead of face their own mistakes help make a huge muck out of things. 

I find myself  therefore completely having zero patience for anyone who can't own up, do their part, participate, BUT, will expend tons of energy and go the ends of the earth to construct an excuse for their behavior, or worse, blame you for it. 2020 has brought out the teeth in me, and viscerally I find myself walking away from these people, emotionally, literally, and figuratively. More and more I remind myself of my mom. My mother could do 10 things at one time and do each one amazingly. She would, of course, always silently want and expect your help but if that help required her  to hold your hand while you did it,  forget it, she'd rather just do it herself, less stress, less drama...that is where I am right now. I have officially become my mother when it comes to how I think go disappointing people. 

Lucky for me I am surrounded by amazing people who dream big dreams like me, and who stand beside me shoulder to shoulder and pace along with the same ferocity. With people like these there is no limit to what one can accomplish. As I grow older people fall into two very distinct categories, the ones whose presence can help you soar and the one's whose weight can bring you down....there are no in-betweens, you are either someone who helps me sink or swim....if you make me sink I am cuttin' you loose.