The plus size athlete... (mike drop)

              Funny how you may be THE least competitive person on the planet, but IF you, (1) don't look like an athlete and,  (2) run races, such as marathons, you will forever come face to face with people's predictable, yet, extremely annoying and ruffled reactions to the incompatibility of these two facts in their own world. The reason I mention competition above is because the reaction I most often get is similar to what I'd probably get had I had chosen to challenge them competitively, a mix of offense and muted anger. Yet, I never think of my sport as one in which I need to compare myself with others, yet, the reaction I get points otherwise. Second, and even more importantly, I very much know that anyone can really do what I do if they set their minds to it, therefore, I know I don't put out competitive vibes out there. 

             As a human being who is fascinated by human reactions and thought patterns and who is also very aware of even the slightest change in reactions in others around me, I find it fascinating, frustrating and also extremely disturbing to subtly witness discomfort from others upon knowing about my little hobby. Which is why I will very rarely be heard talk about running with non-runners. Even among some runners I may be apprehensive talking about running. If I feel even the slightest bit of tension coming off them I move away.   

             Running has become like an old, comfortable shoe to me. Over the years I have made this sport is mine, all mine. I guess all runners find a way to make the sport speak through them. One benefit to reaching this level of familiarity with anything is that odd responses, or subtle words of discouragement no longer rattle me, instead, they both amuse me and they fire me up to do even more. In all seriousness, to me, running is much bigger than bragging rights, or impressing others. Those emotions did at one point exist in my head, yet, they have since been replaced with less extravagant and much more personal reasons. Running has become a form of life prayer, it's my happy place, it's my life skills coach, my giver of hope in humanity and through it I see the world with more love, more compassion and more understanding.  

                So come to me with your unsolicited comments on pace and speed or your subdued, yet, purposely hurtful questions, such as, "Did you walk it?". I am ready now. Know that these reactions do not hurt me, instead, they allow me to see you for who you are. At 44, my focus in the sport is razor sharp and my goals are fanned daily deep in my heart. Bring it....