Sunday, November 27, 2016

New Goals, new directions

            I feel little inspiration lately to post my runs or write about running, but running has been happening nevertheless. Maybe not the long runs like a few weeks back, but certainly a solid 5K daily to get me feeling positive, today I will even go in to do weights and a 5K run. We all get in a funk occasionally but I'm not quite sure this lingering negative cloud can be categorized as a "funk" yet. Although it's surely hard to feel positive these days, and its lasting longer than usual, I have a deep belief that these broody feelings will dissipate eventually. As you all may know, it all started with running marathon #7 while knowing my grandma was dying in New York and simultaneously feeling sad for my own mother mom having to deal with these emotions alone. I had also driven a total of 20 hours the week of the race to see my grandma both before and after she passed. 

           In the midst of feeing all hopeless and trying very hard to remain somewhat positive and hopeful a wonderful movie comes along and as all great movies that have ever come to change my life it came my way like a well-planned accident from the Universe. It was a movie about the Boston Marathon. It primarily covered the struggles of the victims from the bombing in 2013 and their long path to recovery. I was reminded that I GET to do this daily. I get to run, to sweat, to move, to stretch and get that amazing feeling I get after every run, of a job well done. 

          After watching the movie a very tiny voice inside started churning, and whispering; some very big"what ifs" began coming forward. What if I run the Boston Marathon one day?. What if I can get fast enough by age 50 to actually qualify to run it? I immediately look up the times and 99.9% of me is saying NO WAY! and yelling "come on Miriam, you would have to run 2 minutes a mile faster than you've run when even 30 lbs. lighter and 3 years younger...IM.PO.SI.BLE!!". But if there is ONE thing I have learned from the power of the mind these past few years is that ones reality only allows what one can imagine. If you can imagine it, it's absolutely possible. 

               So here I am at 43, quite overweight (and that is an understatement) and dreaming of running Boston. Yes, I know, totally crazy. But as I let this seed slowly take place in my imagination another part of me is already paving a path for this to really happen. Lose weight, practice speed drills, get stronger, get leaner, get meaner.....blah, blah, blah. And just like that the impossible becomes more possible. If at 30 lbs. lighter (last year's weight) I can run 11 minute miles.....what if I shed off my extra weight slowly. I surely can make 9 minute miles at peak body weight and training before 50. So there, as silly and stupid as this might sound to most normal people,  it's huge, scary and oh so enticing to focus my energy on such a lofty and pricey goal.....

            I know there are no such things as accidents and I know this movie came into my life at JUST the right time. I walked away from seeing it feeling so blessed to have these amazing gifts, the gifts of running, the gift of a body that is strong, healthy and relentless. This movie came into my life at just the right time for I was looking for something to occupy my mind, to take me away from this funk. For the next 4 years of this presidency I plan on working on this very goal, fully, wholeheartedly. 

             Now some logistics. Everything will have to be overhauled from food, ones thoughts, extra activities, even friendships....for only in fine-tuning every large meaningful aspect of ones life can one begin to make room for the big dreams. There will be no time for emotionally draining relationships, no time for wasted work-related drama, no time for foods that weaken, or thoughts that destroy ones positivity. You see, anyone CAN adopt larger than life dreams, but they take up space just like any physical thing might take up space in our home. The room needs to be cleared for the new things that occupy the space to be fully functional. 

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

The outdoors is calling

Tomorrow the outdoors....
I have been working out at the gym so much that I forgot how great it feels to feel the wind in my face and have the cool fall weather dry my sweat as I run. 
Tomorrow, I will bundle up and conquer the dark, cool and quiet morning on my own. 

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

marathon seven done!!

         I am writing 2 weeks post race about my 7th marathon. Seems like forever ago....four days before the race I had driven to NYC to say goodbye to my grandma who had had a stroke the week before and now here I was back in DC trying to complete a race when my heart was not in it. The first 17 miles went just fine, but right around mile 18, after I had made it past the dreaded bridge, I lost steam and started to get very emotional. The guilt of not being with my mom for these very tough day got to me. I also felt so sad for all my aunts and uncles so tightly holding on to hope that my grandma would eventually pull through and she could go back home. She never made it back home. She died a week later on a Thursday. Since then other tragedies have happened, one of the the election of a bigot to the White House. I cannot even get myself to utter his name, less look at him on TV. I have run a few runs since, a few 3 milers, a few 2 and even a 4 miler. 

         One good thing that came out of this race was a new friend. During the friend I met another struggling runner, a young man, and helping him realize his first marathon helped me tremendously to keep me focused on other things besides my own problems. Two weeks later I used the bib numbers on the photos to find him online. Happens that he was also looking for me and even wrote about me in his own running blog. Overall, very cool turn of events in light of all the gloomy things going on.