Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Two weeks from marathon

          I am two weeks from MCM and my confidence is shot and my mood is foul. I'm not sure why I feel this way really. Being a practicing buddhist and a runner has taught me to just learn to sit with the emotions as they come, and allow them to come and go naturally without a rush. Therefore, instead of fighting them or trying to get rid of them, for the past few days I've been low and watching these feelings come and go. Most likely my hormones are going crazy, but I can't be , seeing as I have not been to a doctor (nor will I be going). Yet, for someone like me, who is normally super busy with always something going on, one would ever see it or recognize that these things are going on in me. But, this week  HAS been super tough, getting up at 4 or 5am and making myself go running, or going to the gym or even feeling good about my second 20 miler in 8 days, which SHOULD be a no-brainer. I'm not saying I'm not proud of this run. I do feel proud that I was able to finish a second 20 miler in 8 days, something I have not done for my other marathons, ever! But, a large part of me feels somewhat numb overall. Of course, I did a gratuitous 20-miler (19.5 actually) and I should be feeling quite awesome indeed, but nope, I'm struggling to celebrate, or even feel generally good at all. Again, it might be my hormones going crazy. When no real reasons exist for one's negative feelings, it's most likely hormones and I have to simply ignore and/or distrust my thoughts for some time. Nevertheless, knowing the WHY does not necessarily solve it. I have been quite a witch lately. It's not easy for my family to experience me in this mood. 

               About the run, this was a fairly easy run. Having already done my initial 20-miler I had a lot less pressure for this run. I did run a very easy 17 miles and then I hit the trails where there was gravel. Oh, I don't like gravel at all. My ankles have a really hard time adjusting to the unevenness of it and I ended up walking most of the remaining miles. I did beat myself up over it for the entire 3 miles but was not about to make it up at all, I was spent and I was D.O.N.E. But what a gorgeous fall day it turned out to be Sunday and it was all mine! I did not see even one human being either running or walking until hour 3 of my run. So you see, the streets did belong to me from 5am to almost 8am!

I LOOOOVE seeing funny things on my runs.....looks like someone emptied the entire contents of their oven on the sidewalk.....As much as I hate to see liter and litterers this was quite amusing.....

No comments:

Post a Comment