Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Mental chatter.....churning and updates

        I am keenly aware of how little interest MOST people have in talking about running. I only need to mention anything above a 5K and most people's eyes check out and quickly throw the focus on other more common topics. For this reason alone I pretty much hold back all running talk with all people in my life. With even my husband, who also happens to be a runner, but not a race guy, I find myself thinking, "oh this is way too boring to bring up with him."

         My latest craze has been searching and finding a destination race worth a mother's sacrifice and enormous planning effort that it will surely entail. I am searching for a race I would not hesitate to spend a good 2 grand on and leave my kids for two plus days for....one I could daydream about for hours on end every week of training and tear up occasionally thinking of crossing the finish line. The dilemma for a solitary runner like myself is who to share this with? I brought up the subject with my hubby and his initial response was of course the cost. I've got to admit, this response was not the supportive response I envisioned but it's one I understand well. Change is tough for all of us. It;'s not up to him to believe in my dreams, that is my job. I learned that long ago and as soon as he began to rationalize MY whole dream into an impossibility I decided I did not need his understanding, not now.....he'll come around I reassured myself...he always does.

         Yesterday, I was at Whole Foods and every month they have a free running magazine at their exit, which of course, I grab and devour while eating my lunch. This article about group running and how they are 'all the rage' made me sneer. I've had my try at group runs and as a slower runner they pretty much suck. Most women who run my pace are doing intervals and intervals just does not work with me AT ALL. How does one manage to zone out and relax into ones run if you need to stop and walk every....what.....30 second!? nope, not for me. There, that is where I came to realize I am a solitary runner and I like it that way.

        I also wanted to give an update on the non-running workouts as I heal from this injury that does not seem to be subsiding. I emailed the podiatrist and asked about my x-rays. Waiting to hear form him hopefully tomorrow. In the meantime, I am having a hell of a time working through my irrational shyness at the gym. I am proud of how far I've come. I can now choose to do the weights and use every machine in the place without feeling self-conscious. I've got to say choosing angry music helped tremendously with this endeavor. One day I will need to write about the benefits of music on ones energy and mood. Surprisingly I have been going to the gym from 6-7:30 every day since my teacher vacation began. I will either walk for an hour and half uphill or do weights for 1/2 an hour and walk uphill for 45 minutes. The elliptical has burned me. I would seriously rather cut my tongue than use one of the things. Let's just say they are NOT made for short people and most of the time I find myself feeling too uncomfortable. The uphill walking is exhausting but at least I can readjust my body as needed when uncomfortable.

       I need to check the calendar and see when I need to start marathon training...the 20 week mark will be here in a bout a week and I may just need to continue to do other forms of cardio and once I heal I can find some short 16-week plan to follow that will help me accomplish my goals. So far I only have the MCM for October but if I can train better I MAY be able to do the 50K leg of the West Virginia Trilogy also around the same time. It just all depends on how my body heals and it's no sense fretting about it now, but, as weeks go by and my foot feels the same dull pain I get more and more nervous.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Incurable shitty FOOT----Luis C.K. style....

               Made another doctor's appointment to have my foot looked at, yes, again. I am starting to not like Kaiser very much, mostly because I can already anticipate that they will not do much for me and my painful foot. I mostly fear they will tell me I really need to stop using it altogether or take off running longer than 3 weeks this time around ..... This whole situation is starting to remind me of this Louis C.K comedy. Here is the episode. By the way, in case you did not know, I LOVE Lous C.K. I can never tire of his dry humor and his absolute dead pan, perfect delivery. 

          Last night I stayed awake beyond my normal sleep time  trying to build up my resolve to actually fight the inevitable wall I suspect will come once I go back to the doctor Monday. Then again, I am JUST assuming they will 'pooh pooh' my so-called injury and let me go with painkillers (which would just be just devastating).They very well may help me and begin by having an MRI done of my foot, or send me to a foot doctor. I have even rehearsed what to say, that is how nervous I am about Monday's outcome. If I have to face an elliptical again for the next month I will go nuts. I wonder if anywhere online is a runner's prayer, I need one right about now. Regardless, wish me luck. I dream of running outdoors again soon....very, very soon. 

Saturday, June 4, 2016

40 minutes pain-free

Getting there! I managed to run 40 minutes pain-free! Yes, still on the treadmill but somehow it does not feel as awful as I remember to run on a treadmill. Now i can en joy The rest of my Saturday guilt-free. A word about gear, My hubby has been on the lookout for a new pair of sneakers; it's a huge ordeal every 4-6 months, meanwhile I prefer mine. This is what I call my attempt at minimalist shoes the '''natural way". It's run 3 marathons and 1ultra and they are still the MOST comfortable sneakers out there. I have no plans on getting new shoes anytime soon.