Sunday, May 11, 2014

Rewriting Motherhood

                           All girls, while growing up, are well aware that motherhood comes with a list of expected behaviors. Mothers MUST be this way, mothers MUST do this, mothers MUST basically serve the entire family and place herself second always to be defined as a "good" mother, and even then, it might not feel like you're doing enough. I see plenty examples of this form of "sacrificial" moms all around me. One way to know IF you are a sacrificial mom is by simply asking your own kids, "what is mommy's favorite thing to do?",  if they answer something to the affect of doing service to them, like, "mom cooks", or "mom cleans and does the laundry", you have become a sacrificial mom. In thinking this over as I write, I suppose being a sacrificial mom is not the worse thing that could happen ; Your kids find you indispensable, your hubby enjoys the daily meals you provide and it all feels for the most part in perfect, harmonious balance because no one is complaining, everyone is happy. Another way to tell is you are a sacrificial mom is by checking your general, day-in-day-out energy level. I see too many young moms, friends of mine, with small kids who are tapped out creatively and are desperate for a way to escape the big drain. Trying to be a perfect mom can be so, so tiring, so exhausting. 

                When all is said and done, I feel a good life should not be one in which you help others fill their dreams in spite of yours. So ask yourself, what do I love to do and just do it. You have kids? bring them along. Figure out a way to do your thing before they wake up, after they go to bed, find a sitter once a week, give yourself the gift of worthiness. Let your kids witness you fulfill your BIG dreams right before their eyes so they will grow up with this gift, this life recipe, if you may, of just how to go about chasing their own dreams. 

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